I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
