I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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