you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
