i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
