so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
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so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
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Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs