she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.