Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
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It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
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I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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