I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
