oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So vagazzling was a success
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