love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.