we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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