I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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