ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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