I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize