I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
