Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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