I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
