the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
