My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
