How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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