Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think your dad took our porno
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
