first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Is it because I queefed?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize