where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize