So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
