Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize