i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
