What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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