Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
