Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
