why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
did i just pee glitter
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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