i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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