seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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