Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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