Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
that's an acceptable place to lick
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
