i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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