please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
