I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
