You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
