Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
