i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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