I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
