Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
