Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
jump out the window naked night went bad
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