He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I deserve this hangover.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
