Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize