So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I need moral support for this bender
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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