i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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