JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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