I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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