Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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