If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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