my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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