R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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