do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
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I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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