4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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