he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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