How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
