haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
