There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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