Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
