i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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