My balls are so social today.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
